Happy Christmas :)
Excuse my face. :))
Christmas, inevitably, doesn't feel the same as it did before. At least for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy it's Christmas, I am joyous that we may celebrate it and, of course, the true reason for this season. It just doesn't excite me like it used to. Perhaps it's because we didn't have a block Christmas party like we'd always have a Christmas party when I was still in high school. Maybe it's because I was too stressed when the -ber months started. I don't really know for sure. But rest assured that I wish you all a happy and festive Christmas! I still love the Christmas season even if I didn't feel the spirit right away. :))
Sorry if my posts have been short and boring, I've been busy going out, bumming around, hanging out with friends, and the like. I really have to provide more time for my blog though.
And what's a Christmas post without some Christmas music? I present to you some Death Cab For Cutie, Wavves and Best Coast. :)
Lemme throw in some Weezer too.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
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| Happy Holidays! From me, to you. :) |
Christmas, inevitably, doesn't feel the same as it did before. At least for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy it's Christmas, I am joyous that we may celebrate it and, of course, the true reason for this season. It just doesn't excite me like it used to. Perhaps it's because we didn't have a block Christmas party like we'd always have a Christmas party when I was still in high school. Maybe it's because I was too stressed when the -ber months started. I don't really know for sure. But rest assured that I wish you all a happy and festive Christmas! I still love the Christmas season even if I didn't feel the spirit right away. :))
Sorry if my posts have been short and boring, I've been busy going out, bumming around, hanging out with friends, and the like. I really have to provide more time for my blog though.
And what's a Christmas post without some Christmas music? I present to you some Death Cab For Cutie, Wavves and Best Coast. :)
MERRY CHRISTMAS! :)
Lemme throw in some Weezer too.
Labels: 2012, Best Coast, Christmas, death cab for cutie, holidays, life, Merry Christmas, music, personal, Wavves, Weezer
chants and cheers, taunts and jeers
In the things I do to try and help, all I've ever wanted was consideration. So often it feels like you're the only one who cares, plus a few others, but that can be discouraging at times. In my few years of existence I've made so many mistakes of being careless and of being, possibly, too selfish and ignorant. I've also made the mistake of caring too much. Realizing these instances in my life, I tried to change things. I'm proud to say I can see that I've improved myself, though mistakes are still made. I still slip up, numerous times even. I still care too much. I still become careless. But I take note, I remind myself.
Why am I making a post about these things? Well, I don't really know. My Christmas break has just started and I am absolutely happy that I can take a break from all the school-related stress. But a few things still bother me. I know I shouldn't be worried as much or feeling as responsible, but I can't help it that I feel this way. Perhaps I just got so used to taking responsibility, at home, at my high school before. I'm used to being the ate. I know this part of my life is a completely different ball game, but I genuinely care for people who make me happy, who care for me as I care for them. Sometimes even if they don't care as much back, I still care for them. Nakakabuwiset, nakakatanga, nakakadagdag lang sa problema, pero ganun talaga.
Perhaps this is too much of a martyr's philosophy. But from what I see, people care much more about the trivial things, with what they want to say, buy and do, that they forget to consider the others around them. I know we can't ask everybody to change this about themselves, but I'm afraid people have forgotten to think and feel for anybody other than themselves. I'm not saying that I've perfected that aspect of myself. I know I have my selfish tendencies, sometimes I forget and actually want to forget to care about others. I hate feeling so responsible, but this is how I am, this is how I act, think, feel and function. Perhaps people will tell me to fuck off for being this way, that it's my problem not theirs. Yeah, I might say I can agree. I do care too much at times, that's always been the disease of my personality. It's been more often than not the root of my problems. I might be going overboard on my observation, I know that my position is not something so unique, but fuck off, I need this outlet.
And now I've only just wondered, does growing up really mean feeling even more responsible for things, and for your actions and decisions? Is this what's happening? 'Cause it isn't as wonderful as people wish growing up to be at times.
Or is it just me again?
Friday, December 14, 2012
Most of the time, people never really understand your motive for doing things. They never really stop to think of the reasons why you're doing what you're doing. In fact, they never really care that much, do they?In the things I do to try and help, all I've ever wanted was consideration. So often it feels like you're the only one who cares, plus a few others, but that can be discouraging at times. In my few years of existence I've made so many mistakes of being careless and of being, possibly, too selfish and ignorant. I've also made the mistake of caring too much. Realizing these instances in my life, I tried to change things. I'm proud to say I can see that I've improved myself, though mistakes are still made. I still slip up, numerous times even. I still care too much. I still become careless. But I take note, I remind myself.
Why am I making a post about these things? Well, I don't really know. My Christmas break has just started and I am absolutely happy that I can take a break from all the school-related stress. But a few things still bother me. I know I shouldn't be worried as much or feeling as responsible, but I can't help it that I feel this way. Perhaps I just got so used to taking responsibility, at home, at my high school before. I'm used to being the ate. I know this part of my life is a completely different ball game, but I genuinely care for people who make me happy, who care for me as I care for them. Sometimes even if they don't care as much back, I still care for them. Nakakabuwiset, nakakatanga, nakakadagdag lang sa problema, pero ganun talaga.
Perhaps this is too much of a martyr's philosophy. But from what I see, people care much more about the trivial things, with what they want to say, buy and do, that they forget to consider the others around them. I know we can't ask everybody to change this about themselves, but I'm afraid people have forgotten to think and feel for anybody other than themselves. I'm not saying that I've perfected that aspect of myself. I know I have my selfish tendencies, sometimes I forget and actually want to forget to care about others. I hate feeling so responsible, but this is how I am, this is how I act, think, feel and function. Perhaps people will tell me to fuck off for being this way, that it's my problem not theirs. Yeah, I might say I can agree. I do care too much at times, that's always been the disease of my personality. It's been more often than not the root of my problems. I might be going overboard on my observation, I know that my position is not something so unique, but fuck off, I need this outlet.
And now I've only just wondered, does growing up really mean feeling even more responsible for things, and for your actions and decisions? Is this what's happening? 'Cause it isn't as wonderful as people wish growing up to be at times.
Or is it just me again?
hiding in plain sight, waiting and wanting to be found
Somewhere in my convoluted, immature mind, I was insecure. I looked around me and saw how everyone else seemed to be better off, while I felt like I was on the edge of the shadows. I wanted to gather some form of attention or recognition, in some way I don't even know now. Of course, I look back now and realize how stupid I was and how I would have probably slapped my "then" self with some sense and shout at her to grow some freakin' backbone, for God's sake. But in my young and insecure self, unrestrained thoughts flowed much more freely and expressed themselves in ways I can no longer emulate today. That part I truly miss.
I hate to admit it, but sometimes I miss those younger days. Sometimes I miss being so ignorant. Sometimes. I am thankful and blessed with where I am now and with what I have found and discovered that I have in my life. It's just that sometimes, I miss having that unrestrained outlet of emotions. I can't explain how it was in a concrete view, but to put it in a way, it seems a switch is now turned off in my head.
I don't know how many times I've mentioned this "dilemma" of mine on this blog already, but there are times it just makes me wonder what happened in my head. At times I wonder, is this what it's like to "grow up"? Do we really slowly lose a grasp of our sense of wonder? Does growing up have to feel like this, like we lost something along the way? 'Cause that's how it feels sometimes.
Now I can't help but wonder what else I might lose long the way.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
It used to be that I could form paragraph upon paragraph of words with so much meaning and emotion. I don't suppose it was a talent, by which case I would still have it now if it were. I guess I was just much more emotional when I was a few years younger, more dramatic in my perspective. I was much less inhibited in the way I poured out my emotions and my ideas. Somehow now though, I can admit, I was trying to catch attention.Somewhere in my convoluted, immature mind, I was insecure. I looked around me and saw how everyone else seemed to be better off, while I felt like I was on the edge of the shadows. I wanted to gather some form of attention or recognition, in some way I don't even know now. Of course, I look back now and realize how stupid I was and how I would have probably slapped my "then" self with some sense and shout at her to grow some freakin' backbone, for God's sake. But in my young and insecure self, unrestrained thoughts flowed much more freely and expressed themselves in ways I can no longer emulate today. That part I truly miss.
I hate to admit it, but sometimes I miss those younger days. Sometimes I miss being so ignorant. Sometimes. I am thankful and blessed with where I am now and with what I have found and discovered that I have in my life. It's just that sometimes, I miss having that unrestrained outlet of emotions. I can't explain how it was in a concrete view, but to put it in a way, it seems a switch is now turned off in my head.
I don't know how many times I've mentioned this "dilemma" of mine on this blog already, but there are times it just makes me wonder what happened in my head. At times I wonder, is this what it's like to "grow up"? Do we really slowly lose a grasp of our sense of wonder? Does growing up have to feel like this, like we lost something along the way? 'Cause that's how it feels sometimes.
Now I can't help but wonder what else I might lose long the way.
Labels: get used to my random posts people, life, midnight thoughts, personal, thoughts
Hello there...
But anyway, here I am, still alive and breathing and really, really, really missing blogging. A lot has happened in the past few months that I want to share sometime soon, and of course, I have a lot planned for myself which I hope will pull through my busy second semester schedule at college. As for this blog, I'm planning another makeover for it, as well as a small reassessment of how I want to run it. Nothing drastic will change, I'm sure, but I just have to think about it.
See you soon. ;)
Saturday, November 17, 2012
It's been a while hasn't it? Well, months actually. I've missed blogging a lot, but being busy doing school-related things and, if not that, taking a break from these school-related things, I haven't actually found enough time to dedicate to this blog. To be honest, it was the least of priorities then. Other than that, I'm lazy. I told myself I'd be back here by sembreak, but yet again I was preoccupied with dates with friends and a certain job training I was unexpectedly made a part of. But it was a fun sembreak, really. :)But anyway, here I am, still alive and breathing and really, really, really missing blogging. A lot has happened in the past few months that I want to share sometime soon, and of course, I have a lot planned for myself which I hope will pull through my busy second semester schedule at college. As for this blog, I'm planning another makeover for it, as well as a small reassessment of how I want to run it. Nothing drastic will change, I'm sure, but I just have to think about it.
See you soon. ;)
Labels: personal
SANS HÉSITATION
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
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| from flickr |
"If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all."
- Oscar Wilde
The beauty of art and of literature really has a way of
capturing me.When I see a beautiful image, a work of art that moves me, it’s
almost as if my heart would break. It seems dramatic, yes, but it is true for
every piece of art that touches my heart. I can’t explain it to the utmost
point of how it makes me feel, the desire to know every inch of that piece of
art, to see the story within it. It almost feels like love, seeing something so
moving.
There have only been a few stories that have really
gotten through to my core. Something deeper than just fancy words and
descriptions. Though I do admit that these pull me into a story, nothing pulls
me in better than really knowing the character, feeling the story. I love
stories that make me think, that make me wonder “Why?” These are the stories
that leave me speechless and silently begging for more. Even if I’ve gone
through these stories numerous times, I want nothing more than to do it all
over again, to try and feel more than just the pages within my fingertips.
One would
think it almost obsessive. One can only be obsessed with something they can’t
get enough of. And it is true; I can never seem to get enough of the beauty of
art, of literature, and even of human nature, because truly, these all pique my
interest. I thirst for knowledge on it all, the curious nature of which they
come about to entrance us. What is it about these things that make my mind tick
and my heart race; that make me curiouser and curiouser?
Labels: art, books, life, literature, old post from my tumblr, personal, photo, quote
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