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anya|18|ba behavioral sciences|UP-Manila

The thoughts that run in this head aren't always easy to comprehend.

“In search of something immortal in mortality."

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Apprehensions and Expectations
Saturday, January 21, 2012
It's midnight right now, and I am kept awake by questions that just won't keep away from my mind. Mostly, these questions are about college. Step 1 was passing, next was step 2--Choosing. 
I was choosing between De La Salle University and U.P. Manila. But then, as I compared the two, it was almost a no-brainer. The day I found out I passed the UPCAT, something clicked and a thought told me 'that's where I'm going'.
And besides, how could I pass up the chance to go to U.P.? Even though I never really imagined myself in U.P. Manila, or even thought of studying there, the possibility has presented itself and I am left to ponder. 
Truthfully, the only thing that really bothers me is the thought of the culture shock. Nope, not kidding, so don't mock me. 
I guess it all roots back to all the stories I've heard from people about really bad cases of culture shock, and now it's imprinted on my mind. 
I admit, I was raised a bit more sheltered than others. Now I'm worried that because of this, I'll find it a bit hard to adjust. Also, I am an admitted procrastinator. When I don't feel like doing any schoolwork, I won't do it at all. No matter how much my mind nags me that I should do some work or study, I will not do it at all. I'll only do it when I'm in the mood, when I'm in school, when I successfully convince myself to do it, or when something unknown has possessed me to be responsible about it. Sometimes I wonder how I maintain my grades, knowing my bad habit.
But again, this habit also worries me. College life is definitely different from high school life, and my habits will definitely not jive with what's to come. Most especially if I go to U.P., and I'm 99% sure that's where I'll end up. So that ends Step 2: Choosing. U.P. Manila it is. I just have to change my habits to survive there.
As I made this mental decision in my head, I  formulated a plan in my head. Originally, I really wanted to be able to make it to Diliman. I told myself before that I would either go to Ateneo or U.P. Diliman if I were given the chance. I was a bit disappointed to see that I hadn't made it to Diliman, of course, but I didn't despair. Instead, I made a 'future plan' (if I'll still go through with it in the future) to spend a year in Manila then--if possible seeing as slots are scarce--transfer to Diliman. In my head, it works, since the course I really want to try out is in Diliman. Let's just see if this plan holds in the future. :))

P.S. Sorry of I sound like I'm blabbering, I'm half-drunk with sleepiness as I type this.

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